Lifestyle Mental Health

Why I Haven’t Posted On Youtube In 6 Months


If you’re new to my blog then you probably won’t know that I have a Youtube channel. It’s like my blog in terms of Harry Potter with a dash of lifestyle and mental health! The only difference is that you can see and hear me! I’ve been on there for a year and a bit but as you can see from the title, I haven’t posted in 6 months. There are so many reasons why I haven’t posted anything so I thought I’d choose a handful so you can see what is going on inside my head.

i hate the way i sound and look

Yeaaaah. This is definitely one of the very top reasons why I haven’t posted. I have no problem chatting to the camera! That is something I find a lot of fun especially when I can be a little more creative or I’m chatting about something I’m excited about. It’s when I get to editing my video that I have to listen to myself talk and I hate it. I’ve always hated the way I sounded ever since I was a child. I sound super nasally which I have tried to have rectified over 10 years ago through a septoplasty, but nope…no change. I do sound clearer than I did thanks to doing acting over the years but not enough for me to like.

As for the way I look, that is a major issue I’m hoping to come to terms with in therapy. A lot of body issues right there especially with my smile!

my neighbours are noisy

I moved into my flat just over a year ago and what you don’t know is that I’ve had a few little issues with my neighbours. Don’t get me wrong…they are really friendly and I can chat to them whenever I see them. However, the neighbours below me are alcoholics and love to blare their music extra loud during all hours of the day and sometimes late into the night and the ones near them love to chat super loud outside, play the car radio super loud and yell at each other. All of these factors make filming awkward.

It doesn’t help that the walls are pretty thin so you can every little thing and I find it a little difficult to be as energetic as I want to be in case they hear me. Maybe I’ll find the confidence to be me but we’ll see.

i’m too boring to watch

That annoying comparison demon loves to hit me! I always think ‘Why would anyone watch me compared to that person? I’m so boring!’. I have images of what I wish my videos ended up like but they either never turn out that way or I don’t have the means to make them like I want. More and more Potter Youtubers have been joining and I see them doing so much better. Their content is really good but they also seem to have a bit more money than me so can buy merch to do unboxings and things! I hate how whiney I sound yet I want to be completely open and honest with you on how I feel.

my camera hates me

Alright so it isn’t so much that my camera hates me or at least I don’t think it does, but I can only film 2 minutes before my camera stops recording. When you’re trying to film a 5-minute video, it makes you lose the will to record anything. I could be chatting away like crazy or actually like what I just did and then I realised that I’ve been cut off. Gah!

I’m going to add to my July goals by saying I’m going to try and film at least one video this month. I will be extremely rusty so, if I do, please don’t judge!

Have you subscribed to me on Youtube? If you have, which video did you enjoy? If you haven’t, what would make you subscribe?

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