Lifestyle Mental Health

Dealing With Grief Through A Memory Bear

Memory Bear

This is a post that I’ve been 50/50 about posting due to it being a little morbid and others may think that I’m weird to have this if they don’t understand. I actually remember Shane Dawson mentioning this in one of his creepy videos and him saying that it was creepy to own. That said, there are so many people who may love one of these so I’m going to talk about my memory bear. I will be talking about death and cremation so this is my trigger warning for you!

Let me take you back to the beginning.

It was a few days before my Mum’s funeral and I was really struggling with the idea that I wouldn’t get to be with her anymore. It had been difficult losing my dad and knowing that he was going to be cremated (even though I knew that he wasn’t there properly anymore and that he’d gone to be with my grandparents), but the part I had had rode the shoulders of and hugged when I was upset was still there. I know it sounds a little silly but I was only 14 at the time and it was my first experience with the Chapel of Rest.

Before Mum passed, she had already made it clear that she wanted her own ashes to be mixed up with my dad. I totally understood why and was determined to do that for her. What you might not know about cremation is that the urn your loved one isn’t in a nice teeny tube. It’s in a massive pot and really heavy! One is bad but try having both your parents in one bag! I actually found myself visiting my local Co-Op because there was a lady called Maria there who was the loveliest person and made me a cup of tea when I came to chat about Mum’s funeral.

Mum had made the funeral process super easy for me since we had spoken openly about what she wanted over the years and vice versa. I was so happy that I got to make things happen for her. She wanted it to be a celebration of her life so I had her entering to ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ since she loved Queen and thought it was hilarious since she was being cremated. During one of my chats with Maria, I spoke about the fact that I would miss my Mum’s hugs (she gave the best!) and she said that it was one of the biggest things mentioned by those who had lost a loved one. That was why the Co-Op made it possible to get a Memory Bear! It is pretty pricey but it is so worth it!

I didn’t ask about how the ashes were transferred into the bear because I didn’t want to know but they’re in there! The amount of times I’ve hugged this little bear is off the chart. Whenever I’ve been really struggling, missing my parents or just needed comfort that only a parent could give after a long day, I hugged. Personally I actually sleep with it beside me. Morbid I know but it’s just reassuring for me. Every one is different!

What do you think about Memory Bears? Would you ever get one?

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